What I really want is to be able to say, ‘I want to have sex with you’ to someone and the main thrust of the comment to be ‘with you’ and not ‘have sex’.
It takes two
We live in a modern world, do we not? We live in the 21st Century. Modern day. Gender roles have blurred. Sexualities have blurred. Expectations have blurred. None more so than in the world of dating and relationships. Boys make the first move, girls make the first move. Relationships are casual, monogamous, polygamous, open, sub/dom, DDLG, permanent, transient, relaxed, serious. It seems that anything goes. And I like that. I like that there are so few typical expectations placed upon relationships, regardless of gender identity.
Listen, if two people are attracted to each other, it should not fall to just one of those people to steer the course, make the moves, push to see the other. If you want to see someone, ask. If you want to speak to someone, call. If you miss someone, tell them. If you want something, go and get it. Do not expect the other person to do that for you.
And, finally, if you throw your toys out of the pram because the other person doesn’t make the first move, doesn’t send the first message, doesn’t make the first call, don’t be surprised when you’re dismissed as the petulant child you have proven yourself to be.
Relationships are tough. I hope you all find what you are looking for out there.
Ask the kids
Taken from lotusflowerlily’s blog, I thought this might be a cool little thing to do at a moment when I could prise Tom (8) away from the Playstation. I asked the following questions I wrote down exactly what his responses were.
I don’t know if he was just being diplomatic or not!
1. What is something dad always says to you?
Pardon? (because I don’t say please).
2. What makes dad happy?
3. What makes dad sad?
People who don’t listen to him.
4. How does your dad make you laugh?
Tickling and funny faces.
5. What was your dad like as a child?
6. How old is your dad?
7. How tall is your dad?
8. What is his favorite thing to do?
Be with me.
9. What does your dad do when you’re not around?
Go to work.
10. If your dad becomes famous, what will it be for?
Being the best dad in the world.
11. What is your dad really good at?
12. What is your dad not very good at?
Being a bad dad.
13. What does your dad do for a job?
[He got this right]
14. What is your dad’s favourite food?
Fish and chips.
15. What makes you proud of your dad?
That he saves people’s lives at work.
16. If your dad were a character, who would he be?
Mufasa from the Lion King.
17. What do you and your dad do together?
Go out places.
18. How are you and your dad the same?
We eat in the same way (all the carrots, then all the peas, etc.)
19. How are you and your dad different?
20. How do you know your dad loves you?
He shows it by taking me out places, paying for my dinner, and he agrees with me.
21. What does your dad like most about your mum?
I don’t know. Well, you’re not together any more, are you?
22. Where is your dad’s favourite place to go?
23. How old was your dad when you were born?