Spent this morning with my nephew at the park. All the while my brother (his Dad) is commenting on ‘the facebooks’ his support for Boris Johnson and the nasty party. To be expected, really, isn’t it? I wrote recently about still not speaking to my brother. Today that decision was somewhat vindicated. I agonised over responding and chose not to. That was probably the right call for the time being. This happy, smiling eight year old struggles with life. He has cerebral palsy, walks with a frame or gets pushed about in a wheelchair. His mum doesn’t have the time to do everything she could to assist him in getting better. Time is finite and she has a younger child also. The boy needs his Dad.
I wrote about this extensively in 2016 when this situation first developed. It took me some time to figure out how I felt about his actions and I decided I didn’t like them:
“…my brother met a girl. They split up, he met another girl who quickly fell pregnant. He then rekindled his relationship with the first girl who knew about the pregnancy. The baby was born and girlfriend, who had become fiancée by then, made her feelings very well known. She hated that child. She hated everything about him. He was such a beautiful happy little boy too, yet she hated the very air that he breathed.”
“Eventually things got so bad that fiancée stopped brother from seeing his child.”
“Last year this beautiful little boy was diagnosed with cerebral palsy. Has ever a boy needed his daddy more…?“
The situation has not changed. He still doesn’t have a relationship with his boy. How could he not? Where is his sense of duty, of responsibility? It still makes me angry when I think about it. Would this child’s life be better with his father involved? ‘Probably’ is the answer. But despite all this; despite the resources my brother has access to and despite the needs of the child he refuses to man up and be a father to his child. What a terrible thing to do.
How does he sleep at night?
2 thoughts on “Man up, brother!”
I felt compelled to comment as I am in a very similar situation..my ex-husband is just as appalling, my son is autistic and the girlfriend (who was the other woman as it were) controls everything. How nobody can see how damaging this is to a child is beyond me. I see it every day. Your brother is a fool and you can only hope he will live to regret his blind stupity. Your nephew is gorgeous, and has a fab uncle. Keep on keeping on.
I’m just thankful that I, and more importantly my parents, have been able to maintain a relationship with him despite the actions of the brother.