“What are you doing Thursday?”
“Nothing.”
“I might come see you, I don’t want you being a ‘billy-no-mates’.”
No, no, that’s okay. I think you’ll find I’m okay with having an entire day to myself doing exactly as I please without having to consider anyone else at all. I don’t want company, I don’t need company. I’m perfectly happy and content with my own company.
Seems that some people struggle to differentiate between ‘lonely’ and ‘alone’. I may be alone today. Intentionally, willingly, necessarily alone, but I’m far from lonely.
That’s a good word for it. Necessary. Sometimes it’s necessary for Al to rest and recharge his batteries. Life is complex, it’s complicated. There’s so much to do and so many people to keep happy, so many obligations to friends, family, co-workers, my employer, service users(!) – everyone wants a slice of me.
‘I feel thin, sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread.’
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring
When you’re pulled and stretched it’s required that you take a moment to rest and recuperate. I need days like today. They’re essential to maintaining good mental health.
The issue is when people take offence to your required solitude. It’s not that I don’t want to see you, it’s that I don’t want to see anyone. It’s not that I am ignoring you, it’s that I am ignoring everyone. My door is not always open, this house may be small but the welcome isn’t big, please go away and come back again another day.
Does that make sense to people? Do you have your own fortress of solitude? Some place you can get away from them all for a time, to refresh and recharge?
TIME TO START LIVING 
Yes it makes complete and utter sense to me. I love a day where it is just me and the dog. No conversation is required. No platitudes, no pretending to be interested in the minutiae of other lives.
People are horrified when they ask what I’m doing for Christmas and I say nothing, just a quiet day, me and the dog, a walk on the beach and eating my own body weight in food. They always invite you to their house, with their families. Then you have to politely decline, because I really do just like to be alone sometimes too. It is necessary.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Don’t even mention the ‘C’ word. Thankfullly this year I’m single so there’s no issues around whose house we go to first, where we stay for dinner, where to go after… Slays me.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Will you have some time with Tom?
LikeLike
I will, but for how long and for when I do not know. I’m working Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, Boxing Day, New Years Eve and New Years Day.
LikeLike
Me too. Sometimes work fucking sucks!
LikeLike
It makes perfect sense. I love time alone, but it comes seldom. I don’t have a fortress yet, I hope to have one soon. Day to day life stresses me not the holidays. I love holidays and such. I have the same policy my door is not always open.
LikeLike
It seems from discussions both here and on Twitter that everyone needs time to refresh and recharge but that not everyone gets the opportunity to do so. Fingers crossed for you that things sort themselves out in time.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks
LikeLike
I understand this…I actually prefer my own company most of the time. I can count on one hand how many friends I have, but that’s fine, it’s my choice.
LikeLike
I’d rather have three close friends and can share anything with than a legion of insipid acquaintances who do not even know who truly I am.
LikeLike
I completely agree.
LikeLike